And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
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ACCUSATORY OR HEALING
We can address someone with an accusatory manner or a healing manner. Those times when we think we want to point out someone’s problem and we go to tell them, and we’re thinking we’re just trying to help them… many times the effort fails. Why? Because the people ‘reject our help’. But often the problem is we didn’t offer help, instead we offered accusation and condemnation.
To contrast the accusatory mode and the healing manner, I have used the word healing instead of love. So many people have an erroneous impression that the way they approach people to help them is in love. That they are being loving when they come on so strong in the manner in which they approach the people and the subject. Many would-be-helpers go to their ‘patient’ thinking they are going in love, because it is ‘love’ to tell them what’s wrong with them and what they need to admit or do to fix the problem.
To allow a better understanding of how to approach, consider the word ‘healing’. Love goes in a healing manner to the person, not in a vindictive or accusative manner. Love does not go with all the old hurts sticking out. Love does not go with the ends of spears and arrows sticking out like a porcupine that can prick the other person. Those needles sticking out of you stick the other person. He then reacts more to your needles and spears more than the medicine you think you’re giving. Yes, you may indeed be giving medicine with the content of what you say to him, but the content comes across in an accusing spirit.
Your own wounds, or your own judgments are more clearly and more strongly communicated than the medicine. Release all judgments. Release all wounds’ rights to retribution. See the soul in God’s salvation, restoration. Love Him as Jesus. Realizing there is no condemnation for him in Jesus. How to judge whether you come in a healing manner or in an accusatory way: Is there no awareness of condemnation in your heart for the other person? Do you feel compassion and understanding for him where he’s at or do you feel condemnation for where he’s at?
Jesus comes to us where we’re at, with no condemnation, tells us he understands, identifies with us and brings us out of the problem together with Him. Misguided rescuers and helpers go to the trapped soul in a way differently from Christ Jesus, the gentle Shepherd. Some of the ways misguided helpers go to help are: Misguided helpers go with a frown still showing on their face for the stench of the cesspool in which the lost sheep is trapped. The frown drives the sheep away. Sometimes they go with their own wounds still sticking out. The stench of their own wounds can drive the sheep away. There are two categories of rescuers I want to explain now.
First the case where the victim of the lost sheep now goes to the lost sheep to point out the error of his ways, “so he can repent and get healed or delivered. The victim often goes with his own wounds still showing red. With the arrows and spears still sticking out of him. These things drive away the sheep, being taken as an attack. Second the case where someone else goes to the lost sheep. Rescuer # 2 can be a pastor who has been informed by the victim. If this pastor takes up the reproach of the victim, then he assumes the same aggressive posture as the victim. That reproach transfers to him a modified version of those same condemnations, judgements, and reproaches.
Again, effectively driving away the sheep. It doesn’t have to be the pastor. Anyone can qualify for this role.
The error is in holding judgments in your heart instead of vindication by the blood of Jesus, mercy and grace, and showing compassion and understanding.
Then offer healing instead of accusation. Salvation instead of condemnation. Remember the drug addict in the alley whom the police see as a vicious man worthy of death, but the mother sees as a pitiful wounded soul who needs help. Such can be the difference between the accusatory way and the healing way of approaching some soul.
See Forgiveness for further study: https://777jesusislord.com/forgiveness/